`Vimes, Mr Smith is-' Vetinari began.

`President of the Ankh-Morpork Mission of the Uberwald League of Temperance,' said Vimes. `And I believe the lady next to him to be Mrs Doreen Winkings, treasurer of same. This is about having a vampire in the Watch, isn't it, sir? Again:

`Yes, Vimes, it is,' said Vetinari. `And, yes, it is again. Shall we all be seated? Vimes?'

There was no escape, Vimes knew, as he sagged resentfully into a chair. And this time he was going to lose. Vetinari had cornered him.

Vimes knew all the arguments for having different species in the Watch. They were good arguments. Some of the arguments against them were bad arguments. There were trolls in the Watch, plenty of dwarfs, one werewolf, three golems, an Igor and, not least, Corporal Nobbs, [1] so why not a vampire? And the League of Temperance was a fact. Vampires wearing the League's Black Ribbon ('Not one Drop!') were a fact, too. Admittedly, vampires who had sworn off blood could be a bit weird, but they were intelligent and clever and as such a potential asset to society. And the Watch was the most visible arm of government in the city. Why not set an example?

Because, said Vimes's battered but still functional soul, you hate bloody vampires. No messing about, no dissembling, no weasel words about `the public won't stand for it' or `it's not the right time. You hate bloody vampires and it's your bloody Watch.

The other three were staring at him.

`Mr Vimes,' said Mrs Winkings, `ve cannot help but notice that you still haf not employed any of our members in the Vatch . .

Say `Watch, why don't you? Vimes thought. I know you can. Let the twenty-third letter of the alphabet enter your life. Ask Mr Smith for some, he's got more than enough. Anyway, I have a new argument. It's copper bottomed.